How much longer?!

I’ve hit an Atkins wall. I’ve been stuck on the same weight for several weeks now. THE EXACT WEIGHT!

Lefty has found a little Atkins passage I’ve overlooked and has said she thinks I may be one of those warped individuals that needs more than the 20g carbs/day. I guess this means that my body has gone into the “famine” part of “feast or famine syndrome.”

Lefty has also channeled an Atkins-atzi named Sue Ellen who says to drink more water. Apparently “more water” is Sue Ellen’s solution to just about every single road block that exists in the land of Atkins.

The anorexic in me says I should go with the “drink more water” advice.

The food addic in me says I should eat a loaf of bread and family-size bag of chips followed by a gallon of chocolate milk…maybe a pepperoni pizza, the kind with the cheese stuffed crust…ooh and a belgian waffle with lots of butter and maple syrup…

I Might As Well

I’ve gone ahead and decided to give up chocoate for Lent. I figure I’m not finding much pleasure in food at the moment anyway. Plus, I can’t eat the chocolate I REALLY want while I’m Atkins-ing. No carbs, no chocolate.

Disappointment

So week two of Atkins, not so good as week one. I did not lose (or gain) a single pound.

Today was my Mom’s birthday. So while everyone else was enjoy cake and ice cream, I snacked on pork rinds.

Nice, huh.

A Sad, Sad Day

No chocolate for me today. Actually, I lie.

One miniature-sized, sugar-free, Special Dark chocolate bar. 4g of carbs.

There is a ton of chocolate in the house. I smell it. I want to rub it all over my naked body.

Do the carbs count if they’re absorbed through your skin?

One Week Down

The first week has gone well. I’ve lost about 7 lbs. I’m sure most of it is water weight. But if I can go at even 2-3 pounds over the next two weeks, I’ll be at my goal. Yay!

The cravings don’t seem to be as bad as I recall them being the last time I tried to do the Atkins program.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that week two goes as well as week one.

Atkins, Again

Well, I’ve decided I have to shed about 10-12 pounds. I hate the way my clothes fit. My endurance at karate sucks. I can’t break a 10-minute mile on my “runs.” My metabolism is steadily slowing down, and if I don’t do something now, I’ll wake up one day and realize I’m 30 lbs overweight.

So, hardcore Atkins is coming to the rescue (hopefully).

I start today. No more than 20 carbs a day for two weeks. Go!

Timely and Amusing

Neither timely nor amusing, but we all have to have our schtick. Right? I guess three months is a sufficient amount of time to sulk in depression and stress.

Update:

Doing the Atkins thing again, I think this is the third or fourth time I have decided to subject myself to this torture. 8 pounds, that’s all. If I can loose 8 pounds and keep it off, I’ll be okay with my weight.

Echo the cat is morbidly obese. I’m making him diet. He’s gaining weight instead of losing. I think he is weighing in at 21 pounds right now. I need to post a photo of him so you can be as disgusted as I am at his size. Any day I’m expecting to come home and find him dead.

Longhorns defeating the Trojans. I think that win brought me more joy than the Tigers beating the Hurricanes.

The luteyland includes for the links and archived posts are not pulling into site pages. I don’t see any obvious reason for the break. Tarnation!

Death to Chocolate Bunnies

Stress Hump

First of all, get your mind out of the gutter. It isn’t that kind of hump. It’s a noun not a verb.

Crazy things are happening at the office. My entire unit could be eliminated. At the very least, it looks like we will be broken apart and scattered to the four winds. The only thing we know for certain, there will be significant changes.

My stress hump is up to three cups of coffee a day.

A Late Afternoon Nap

I am so tired. Not sleepy tired. More like my body has no fuel, tired.

It has to be the Atkins, if it were depression I’d be sleepy not fatigued.

Let me officially declare that Day Two of induction sucks. I have no supply of carbs in my body. I think I’ll be okay once the body switches over to fat burning. I’m hoping that will happen any minute now. I’d like to go back to my normal state of being depressed and sleepy. Being hungry and worn out isn’t as fulfilling.

Speaking of being worn-out, I need to go in to karate tonight. Lefty said something about belt promotions being this evening. I’ll be okay if all I have to do is sit cross-legged on the floor for an hour. I think even the pre-class warm-up would cause me to pass-out, that is how little energy I have.

Of course, I’m making the assumption that I passed testing. I haven’t seen Sa Bum Nim since testing, so if I didn’t pass, he hasn’t had an opportunity to tell me that I did not. Which means I could potentially sit in class, anxiously awaiting my turn to receive my next blue stripe, only to have Sa Bum Nim call Lefty and then call RBJ.

I know I’ve said after previous tests that my performance sucked and I don’t feel like I passed. I REALLY mean it this time. I don’t know how I possibly accumulated enough points to pass. Unfortunately I find myself in the position of wishing for pitty points. I believe this puts me in the company of RBB and RBC. I should be ashamed of myself.