How much longer?!

I’ve hit an Atkins wall. I’ve been stuck on the same weight for several weeks now. THE EXACT WEIGHT!

Lefty has found a little Atkins passage I’ve overlooked and has said she thinks I may be one of those warped individuals that needs more than the 20g carbs/day. I guess this means that my body has gone into the “famine” part of “feast or famine syndrome.”

Lefty has also channeled an Atkins-atzi named Sue Ellen who says to drink more water. Apparently “more water” is Sue Ellen’s solution to just about every single road block that exists in the land of Atkins.

The anorexic in me says I should go with the “drink more water” advice.

The food addic in me says I should eat a loaf of bread and family-size bag of chips followed by a gallon of chocolate milk…maybe a pepperoni pizza, the kind with the cheese stuffed crust…ooh and a belgian waffle with lots of butter and maple syrup…

I Might As Well

I’ve gone ahead and decided to give up chocoate for Lent. I figure I’m not finding much pleasure in food at the moment anyway. Plus, I can’t eat the chocolate I REALLY want while I’m Atkins-ing. No carbs, no chocolate.

Disappointment

So week two of Atkins, not so good as week one. I did not lose (or gain) a single pound.

Today was my Mom’s birthday. So while everyone else was enjoy cake and ice cream, I snacked on pork rinds.

Nice, huh.

One Week Down

The first week has gone well. I’ve lost about 7 lbs. I’m sure most of it is water weight. But if I can go at even 2-3 pounds over the next two weeks, I’ll be at my goal. Yay!

The cravings don’t seem to be as bad as I recall them being the last time I tried to do the Atkins program.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that week two goes as well as week one.

Atkins, Again

Well, I’ve decided I have to shed about 10-12 pounds. I hate the way my clothes fit. My endurance at karate sucks. I can’t break a 10-minute mile on my “runs.” My metabolism is steadily slowing down, and if I don’t do something now, I’ll wake up one day and realize I’m 30 lbs overweight.

So, hardcore Atkins is coming to the rescue (hopefully).

I start today. No more than 20 carbs a day for two weeks. Go!

Timely and Amusing

Neither timely nor amusing, but we all have to have our schtick. Right? I guess three months is a sufficient amount of time to sulk in depression and stress.

Update:

Doing the Atkins thing again, I think this is the third or fourth time I have decided to subject myself to this torture. 8 pounds, that’s all. If I can loose 8 pounds and keep it off, I’ll be okay with my weight.

Echo the cat is morbidly obese. I’m making him diet. He’s gaining weight instead of losing. I think he is weighing in at 21 pounds right now. I need to post a photo of him so you can be as disgusted as I am at his size. Any day I’m expecting to come home and find him dead.

Longhorns defeating the Trojans. I think that win brought me more joy than the Tigers beating the Hurricanes.

The luteyland includes for the links and archived posts are not pulling into site pages. I don’t see any obvious reason for the break. Tarnation!

A Late Afternoon Nap

I am so tired. Not sleepy tired. More like my body has no fuel, tired.

It has to be the Atkins, if it were depression I’d be sleepy not fatigued.

Let me officially declare that Day Two of induction sucks. I have no supply of carbs in my body. I think I’ll be okay once the body switches over to fat burning. I’m hoping that will happen any minute now. I’d like to go back to my normal state of being depressed and sleepy. Being hungry and worn out isn’t as fulfilling.

Speaking of being worn-out, I need to go in to karate tonight. Lefty said something about belt promotions being this evening. I’ll be okay if all I have to do is sit cross-legged on the floor for an hour. I think even the pre-class warm-up would cause me to pass-out, that is how little energy I have.

Of course, I’m making the assumption that I passed testing. I haven’t seen Sa Bum Nim since testing, so if I didn’t pass, he hasn’t had an opportunity to tell me that I did not. Which means I could potentially sit in class, anxiously awaiting my turn to receive my next blue stripe, only to have Sa Bum Nim call Lefty and then call RBJ.

I know I’ve said after previous tests that my performance sucked and I don’t feel like I passed. I REALLY mean it this time. I don’t know how I possibly accumulated enough points to pass. Unfortunately I find myself in the position of wishing for pitty points. I believe this puts me in the company of RBB and RBC. I should be ashamed of myself.

It Starts Again

So, I’m going to do the Lenten thing again this year, even though I’m not catholic. Or, is it Catholic?

Any way, my penance this year will not be to give up chocolate…actually it will be…but there’s even more sacrafice involved. I’m giving up carbs en masse. That’s right. I’m going to subject my body to the Atkins diet again.

This time I’m going hard core, not the “Lut-akins” version. I started “induction” this morning. For those of you not familiar with Atkins lingo: induction = hell. I’m limited to 20 carbs a day for two weeks.

I know what your saying, Lent lasts for six weeks. What sort of sacrifice will follow the first two weeks? Well, anything after the first two weeks pretty much doesn’t matter. I’ll probably be dead and carbs, in fact Lent itself, will be a mute point.

Actually, 5.5 hours into Atkins, things aren’t looking that bad. I had three pieces of bacon, one poached egg, and five cubes of colby-jack for breakfast. I’ve also had two cups of coffee. Technically, I’m not supposed to have caffeine during induction, but I letting myself slide today since I “forgot” to bring de-caf tea with me this morning.

I’m about to go to lunch. I’m not sure what I’m going to eat…meat in some form…cheese in some form…maybe I’ll spice it up with a piece of lettuce.

Killing Myself

I’m totally blowing the diet. Ever since Thanksgiving I’ve been putting mostly crap into my body…chocolate, bread, chocolate, pastries, chocolate, french fries, chocolate.

I’ve had some form of fried or grease ladden-bread product every morning this week. Donuts, honey buns, bread slathered with butter. I usually follow-up my lardo-bread with some chocolate.

I think I’m going to have to do the hard-core Atkins routine again. The guilt induced by cheating when I’m supposed to be following a structured diet is the only thing that will keep me from shoveling tasty little morsels of junk food into my mouth.