Dream Fest

It’s been months since I’ve actually remembered a dream. Now, two nights in a row, I remember.

Last night, my subconscious tried to make-up to me for the terrible dream I had Monday night. Oh, it was still a bad dream, but at least this time it had some star power in it.

In the dream, I’m at some huge, high-class party. If you know me well, you know this in itself is totally preposterous and nightmarish. I shun social gatherings.

Anyway, it occurs to me that I’m not here because I’m a socialite, I’m here because I’m Jamesetta Bond. I’m supposed to be protecting some one. I have no idea who this person is.
I’m talking to some lady whose telling me she absolutely loves the dress I’m wearing because it’s so ’80s. Only it isn’t, because in the waking world it’s some dress I saw in a catalog a couple weeks ago. Anyway, I finally realize who I am supposed to be protecting. It’s some tall, blonde guy standing near me. He’s wearing a white suit…a la John Travolta…with a black cord tied around his waist…think Jethro Bodine.

I’m still talking to the lady when John Cusack walks up to me. Only he’s not an actor in my dream. He’s an old friend I haven’t seen for years. He and some other guy are also protecting Mr. White Suit. Oh yeah, Cusack hits on me. But I’m playin it cool.

Suddenly, Mr. White Suit screams out. He’s been shot in the arm. Cusack starts clearing an exit way for us. I grab Mr. White Suit under his left arm and The Other Guy takes him by his right arm. Mr. White Suit is a total weeny. He’s only been shot in the arm, but for some reason his legs no longer work. We have to drag him to safety.

We make it to some private room thinking we can escape to the alley through it. But the room is full of bad guys and we’re trapped. The Other Guy stops holding Mr. White Suit and starts laying down some cover fire for us. The bad guys are poorly prepared, only one of them has a gun, but it’s a machine gun. The Other Guy is shot down by the machine gun. It’s now my job to take out the bad guys. Cusack takes Mr. White Suit to try to find and exit. I take a run at the bad guy with the machine gun and try to take him out with a flying side kick. The kick misses him. However, since this is a dream I get a do-over. It takes me two more tries before I eliminate him.

At this point, Cusack and Mr. White Suit are no longer in the room. Neither the bad guys nor I know how they were able to get out. The bad guys are no longer interested in me, they’re trying to figure out how to find Mr. White Suit.

A big goon is guarding the back door, at first he doesn’t want to let me leave, but I’m able to smooth-talk my way past him. So, I’m in the alley way. I decide I need to walk the perimeter of the building to find Cusack and Mr. White Suit. I think they may be up on the roof, so as I’m walking I’m calling out for them.

Two bums holding whiskey bottles approach me. They tell me I need to come with them. I ignore them and keep walking. One of the bums follows me and demands that I come with him. He pulls out a knife. So, I have to perform another flying side kick to get rid of this nuisance. This time the kick works on the first try.

I make it to the far side of the building, only to discover a garbage man convention is taking place. Unbeknownst to me, the garbage men know who I’m looking for. One of the garbage men tells me to hang around and then he walks over to an orange AMC Gremlin to talk to whomever is sitting in the car. I don’t think this has anything to do with me, so I start walking again. At this point, I’m very worried, I have the feeling that if I don’t find Cusack and Mr. White Suit soon then they will die.

I hear someone running up behind me. So I turn quickly, I’m thinking I’m going to have to unleash another deadly sidekick on one more poor bastard. But wait! It can’t be, yes, it’s Cusack. He reaches me and for some reason he spins me around until I fall on the ground. Then he asks me to run away with him and Mr. White Suit in his orange Gremlin.

I wake up.

A League to Call Their Own

So, in my dream last night, I’m apparently trying to find a place to live with a bunch of people. I don’t remember who these people are exactly…friends, co-workers, b-grade actors. We’re on the run from some evil force, I’m not really sure what, but we need to find a stronghold.

We find a huge fortress to live in, and we get all moved in and suddenly we realize the place is over run with spiders. Not just any spiders…brown recluse.

So now we have to get out of this place, I guess we’d much rather face the big evil outside the fortress than call an exterminator. Suddenly it’s me and one other adult trying to get a bunch of little kids evacuated from this building. At some point, we must have traveled into the bowels of the building because I’m trying to run all these little kids up flights of stairs. All the while we’re being chased by brown recluse that are becoming larger and larger. To top matters off, the spiders are now being supported by herds of evil cats.

We finally get to the top of the last flight of stairs, and, whoever the other adult is, is helping the little kids get outside and into a space ship that is waiting outside to whisk us away. Considering we’re under attack, the kids are behaving quite calmly. They stand behind me, waiting patiently in a well-formed line while the other adult takes them one at a time to our escape vehicle.

The spider and the cats finally catch up to us. A huge brown recluse is hanging back a little in striking position. It occurs to me that he’s waiting for the cats to overwhelm me before he moves in for the kill. So I have to stand at the top of the stairs and kick cats in the head on exactly the right spot so that they are blasted off into some abyss near the stairs.

Then I wake up. I’m not sure who won.

Apparently, Whitey has the gift of insight into other people’s dreams and has been able to recreate the final scene with terrifying accuracy…except the spider in my dream was a brown recluse…and I wasn’t wearing a do bok…and, quite frankly, some of the cats in this picture don’t look all that evil…